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I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Romance and Relationships
Stl Distribution (
01 April, 2003 )
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Changed my life!  |
Wow! Wow! Do not hesitate in getting this book. Im going to read it a 2nd time. Good thing I had a couple red pens because the first one went dry due to the need to underline so many wonderful, Godly points. Joshua Harris is remarkably mature and insightful for his age (early 20s). Im 26 and now "Ive kissed dating goodbye," too. Having been incredibly hurt (and also causing an incredible amount of hurting) in my last supposedly-Christian relationship, the new, God-centered approach he outlines seems like exactly what God would have me do. Ive learned to be content in this "season of singleness" and to seek to serve God and prepare for the future He has for me. Harris prayer for us is Gods prayer (Phillipians 1:9-11, "That your love my abound more and more in knowledge and insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruits of righteousness...") This is just one of literally tens of Biblical references that guides Harris every step of the way. If I could have one wish, it was that I would have read this book in 11th grade, before I started dating. It would have saved me (and my ex-girlfriends) a lot of hurt. Thankfully, all things are made new in Christ, and its never to late to be made new! This book would also be great for married people! In fact, I gave a copy to my mom, both so that she can better understand her children, and also so that she can read about Harris insights into God-centered relationships. Harris challenges us to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ by protecting both our and their purity, and by not pursuing romantic relationships, contact or activities until God has prepared us and has given us the person He would have us be with. No, he doesnt advocate becoming a hermit. On the contrary, his approach teaches us to cultivate deeper (100% Godly) relationships with members of the opposite sex, carried out only in group settings, so "that nothing need be hidden." Ive now got a "passion for purity" in relationships and life in general! While we can never completely eliminate sin, we are either progressing toward or away from purity. Previously, I had been stepping away too often. It also lays out a Godly path for dealing with tough situations in relationships. And it concludes with a helpful section on how to move toward marriage with a potential spouse in a Godly-fashion when God has ordained the "when" and the "who"! Rather than being an "obligation" to wait to date, Harris presents it in a way that makes me feel priveleged to serve God (and myself and His Children) in this way. Harris also includes many good references for further reading. Im reading one of those books now, called "The Rich Single Life" by C.J. Mahaney. Its also outstanding. I guarantee youve never read a book on relationships like this. As Harris says, "this is not a "how to date" book but a "how to break up with dating book!"" Its impossible to say too many good things about this book. Ive learned the importance of preparation, service, humility, contentedness, prayer, purity, love, gentleness, self-control, patience, knowledge, tenderness, compassion, vision, listening, and so much else. Im literally on-line right now buying a case of this book to give away to friends & family. I would strongly encourage anyone, whether in a relationship or not, Christian or not, to get this book and STUDY it immediately. It will change your life, too!
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A Teenagers Perspective to Dating |
Joshua Harris did a great job bringing the idea of not dating to a teenagers and a Christians perspective. I thought that the book was a great piece of work that all teenagers should read, even if they are dating someone. At first, I wasnt sure about the book, but when I read on, I saw that he wasnt condemning dating, but showing teenagers that there is another way for them to improve their relationships. He showed how God can improve relationships through a life of love, truth, purity, and especially singleness. I thought that showing a Christianity perspective on dating is an excellent idea that parents should teach their children about. Joshua Harris doesnt single out any person in his book. He opens the book up to those who are dating, arent dating, or those who are curious. By doing so, he allows the reader to enjoy the book without having them think that they are doing something wrong. I really enjoyed the opener to the book about the soon-to-be husband, who had given his heart to many other women before his wife. He also uses examples of experiences from the lives of many teenagers in his book. He does this to show teenagers that dating isnt a game where the highest score wins, but a relationship that should be taken seriously and should be given a large amount of thought. My favorite part of the book was when Joshua said that being single should not be seen as a bad thing, it is a moment in life where someone can improve their relationships with friends, but most of all with God. This is a great book that I know is worth the time reading.
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Purity should be the priority. |
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It was if though God led me to this book. I had just broken off a "relationship" and had many questions about why two people date in the first place. This book shed new light on how one can view the single time of our lives, not trying to see how many people we can pickup, but how you can see members of the opposite sex as our brothers and sisters in Christ. With this view, we have an attitude placed in our hearts that we should protect one another from impurity and guard against being dishonest with each other. At 26, I certainly am happy I read this book and feel much more confident about Gods plan for me in the "relationship department." I plan to encourage the youth group at my local church to read, study, and understand Harriss well-written book. To stop dating in NO way means to stop living. I plan to do plenty of living and know that if there is somone out there that God wants me to be with, it will certainly happen!
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