Online Dating: Top 8 Mistakes ALL People Make - Including You!
Copyright (C) 2004 Elena Welon

Using online personals does not seem to be a daunting task.
This is why most people don't get any results out of it -
everything seems to be so simple, just post a profile and start
dating!

Yeah right.
You've tried it.
Does not work!

Want to know WHY?

Here are top eight mistakes all people make when dating online.
Check out if you are guilty of some of them.

MISTAKE #1
"Giving it a try"

Most people start using online personals with the attitude "Let
me give it a try and see where it goes". They don't really think
they WILL meet someone - they only HOPE to meet someone.
What is the difference? When you "hope" to succeed, you don't
try hard enough - if it works, great, if it does not work, fine,
at least I've tried. When you think you "will" meet someone,
and it does not work, you change something in your approach
to get the results you want.
BOTTOM LINE: Don't "give it a try" - do your best.

MISTAKE #2
Hoping "the right person will find you"

Most people don't pay when post their profiles online, which
usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer ads
of other members. They hope people will be writing to them.
If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you.
But if you are not, then you shouldn't hope your dream partner
would email you out of blue. You will get much better results
if pay for premium membership and write to people yourself.
BOTTOM LINE: Contact other people; don't wait for them
to contact you.

MISTAKE #3
Sending one-liners

It's amazing how many people send letters of the type "Hi, liked
your profile, please see my profile". If your photo does not
impress the other person in an instant, most likely they will
just delete your email. Some *might* actually read your profile
- and if there is nothing in your profile that impresses them
in an instant (hard to think what could it be :-), then they will
also just delete your email.
BOTTOM LINE: Write letters that have some substance in them.

MISTAKE #4
Sending form letters

I always know when I receive a form letter - always!
I am sure you know it too. If there are no personal references
in the letter, I know this letter was not written specially for
me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants
to be special!
BOTTOM LINE: Write individual letters for each person you contact.

MISTAKE #5
Writing boring letters

Many people are guilty of this one. They write about things they
want to say and not what the other person wants to hear.
The result: letters that are plain BORING.
Remember: it is not about YOU - it is about THEM!
Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you
decided to write to them. Some things may be uncertain in their
profiles - ask questions and guess the answers. For example,
she ticked "Tell you later" in her profile about kids - if she
did not have any kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids
and tell her you think she does and that you just love kiddies.
A person who actually THINKS and what more - thinks ABOUT HER,
it's indeed something special, and your letter is sure to get
noticed. Don't talk much about yourself in your letter (she can
always read your profile) - tell her why you think you will be
the right guy for HER. If you do not fit her requirements 100%,
tell her why it won't be a problem. You pride yourself as having
a great sense of humor? Back up your claim - make her laugh!
From the first line, your letter should grab her attention and
she should not be able to stop reading until the end.
BOTTOM LINE: Write interesting letters - the type of letters
you would like to receive.

MISTAKE #6
Contacting dozens of members at once

Once people pay for their premium membership, they tend to
contact dozens of members at once. The reason for that is that
they don't hope to receive much response. STOP for a minute:
what are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested
to start a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you
need is only one person - but the one who is right for you.
Do you really want to correspond with 20 people at a time?
Spend more time reading profiles on the site, and then select
a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make
sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting
other people.
BOTTOM LINE: Don't contact dozens of people at once -
concentrate on the ones you like the most.

MISTAKE #7
Not following up

Let's face it: we live in a fast-paced world. We tell people
"Let's get together soon" and forget it in an instant. We send
an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever.
This is extremely important: if you do not get a response,
follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for
an answer and you want to hear from them even if they are
NOT interested. Having somebody who is really interested in you
is not very common nowadays. This very fact may convince people
to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If they are
not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are
allowed to answer your email, and this is the reason why they
did not respond. Check the rules of the website before assuming
they are not interested.
BOTTOM LINE: Follow up. Make sure there are no technical
problems preventing your contact.

MISTAKE #8
Giving up

You've tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up:
"It just doesn't work for me". That's the biggest mistake of all.
What you should do is to use your negative experience and learn
WHY it did not work. Look at profiles of other people that
attracted you and compare it with your own profile. Try to
change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile.
(What? You don't have a photo in your profile?? Get one NOW)
Try to contact somebody you feel nothing about and see how it goes.
Might be you are just trying too hard? Treat your search for
a partner as you would treat a search for a new job: if at first
you don't succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check
new listings every day and write to one person. See what works
and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people.
Just don't give up!!
BOTTOM LINE: Online dating works. All you need to do is
to gain experience. Practice makes perfect.
Your special person is waiting for you!

Elena Welon works in online dating
since the early days of WWW. She manages online personals site
www.Match-Seeker.com - 100% free online personals.
Post your profile and write to other members at no charge.

Meet new people at http://www.Match-Seeker.com today!