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Boundaries in Dating
Zondervan (
01 March, 2000 )
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A fresh, realistic look at modern dating  |
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This book is an eye-opener with regard to modern relationships and provides keen insights as to the character traits behind relational failure. I was encouraged and inspired by this book to look at myself and accept my responsabilities toward making a relationship work as well as to develop healthy boundaries to determine what I should not accept within a relationship. The authors dont advocate abstinence from dating but rather to use dating as a tool for self-discovery and enjoy meeting different people.
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Could women really be this stupid?  |
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While there were some interesting things about dating in this book (which, truthfully, any man over the age of 16 would already know), I found this book really hard to believe. "How to Succeed" is obnoxious and irreverent, all right. I guess that means Im one of those hated Sensitive New Age Guys -- I believe in treating women with honesty, integrity and respect. Lets face it, if a woman doesnt return your calls or show up for a date its for a very good reason. Its not because she "forgot." Or that shes playing hard to get. How insulting! Its because shes NOT INTERESTED, plain and simple. Any further pursuit will only serve to make a guy look pathetic and desperate. I wish I could get my hands on the [purely fictional] bimbos that the authors write about in their "case histories." Because all the women I meet are WAY too smart to fall for any of this stuff.
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Dont waste your money |
While Louis and Copeland provide some useful, albeit basic, advice in this book, I found the manner in which this advice was couched to be unhelpful and insensitive.Were these authors drill sergeants in a former life? I got the distinct impression that they bear a grudge against almost every male on earth, while at the same time relegating women to mindless machines. The book orders the reader to deny his own needs and instincts. If you are after a life partner, this is highly impractical: after all, you have feelings as well, and to suppress them from the first date onwards is not healthy for either you nor your other half. And since when did a date last five or six hours? Some of us have jobs and other commitments! Moreover, only the most demanding and shallow of women would expect you to bankrupt yourself on lavish dinners and keep surprising them at every encounter. This is unrealistic. On the whole, I would not recommend taking this book too seriously, as you could well end up with clinical depression and paranoia. Just flip through it, then find something less insulting.
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